(Tongue) In (Cheek) Memoriam

It is with pained hearts that we mourn the loss of our dear friend, roommate, sister, daughter, and cherished Auntie, Eleanor Crochebelle Monroe. She departed this life unexpectedly on Tuesday, December 15th 2020 at the tender age of 39.

Those of you who were near and dear to Eleanor are well aware that she aged far beyond her years, and although young-ish on paper, in practice she was senior to us all. Her favourite hobbies included crocheting, collecting crochet hooks, accumulating yarn for crocheting, sitting in a chair with an afghan over her knees, and shaking her fist out the window at passersby to “Keep it down out there!” It was her yarn addiction that led to her demise, tragically suffocating under a fallen tower of skeins of Mary Maxim Natural Alpaca Tweed Yarn in her own bedroom. At least, we think it was her bedroom; the bed wasn’t visible through all the yarn.

Our beloved Eleanor is survived by 14 shawls in varying patterns and sizes, 37 unfinished afghans, 22 crocheted animals who will need homes with kind-hearted individuals, and the entire cast of Star Wars: A New Hope in crochet miniature. She was predeceased by 9 orphaned socks who went through the dryer by mistake and were never the same, an attempted Jar Jar Binks crochet who mysteriously disappeared (that thing was creepy as heck), the blue crew mate who was stabbed in the back by an imposter (we haven’t figured out who yet, but orange is pretty sus), and an innumerable army of dish cloths who sacrificed their lives in a hot sudsy sink in the name of clean casserole dishes.

In lieu of flowers, the family would appreciate donations toward hiring a bulldozer to clear out the mountains of yarn.

Published by Aly Writes

I bake. I write. What goes better together than a good story and a delicious fresh-baked pastry? Nothing. And I can give you both. Grab a hot cuppa and join me.

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