What I wouldn’t give for a silent holy night without that snoring in the next room rattlin’ the window panes.
Tag Archives: Funny
A Smart Accessory to Murder
Alexa, play that song that goes, “those black-eyed peas, they tasted alright to me, Earl.”
The Earth is Flat and Other Lies I Tell Myself
Morning comes the way it always does, harsh and sudden and unwelcome. I’ll just hit snooze one more time. I won’t be late again.
In a green and mossy wood, a beam of sunlight lit a clump of ferns.
Found: One Women’s Slipper, Right Foot, Fur Trim, Some Water Damage
I couldn’t very well leave it there. It had a mate somewhere and whether it had been lost or abandoned was not for me to know.
The Man Who Died Twice (Richard Osman)
The Man Who Died Twice combines murder and intrigue with the banality of life and growing old in a way that is simultaneously fast-paced and gripping and delightfully comic.
Sunshine, Lollipops and Airport Delays
Terrence had never been one to just suck a lollipop. No sooner had he popped it in his mouth than his teeth were clamping down, chipping shards as sharp as glass.
Looking For a Home For One-Dozen Egg Yolks
I use my fingers, letting the white slip down into the bowl, leaving the glistening golden globes one at a time cradled in my hand. So easily done—what once was whole has now been twain.
A boldly honest manual on the finer points of ice-fishing
You’re on the ice. On a lake. In a car. Imagine the ice cracking and the car sinking into the deep, dark, deathly cold water. Try to breathe. Stop imagining. Try to breathe.
It’s Been a Dull Day at 305 Barton Lane
Dad gives no signs of noticing, pecking away at his laptop on the well-worn sofa in the family room that’s been more solitary room this week.